I’ve found myself stuck a lot of overwhelmed
moments hours days lately. I yell more. I enjoy less. I feel out of control and desperate. I start trying to figure out an escape, a chance to get away and solely focus on choosing to breathe in and out.
They’re watching me and copying my behaviors. I’ve been slapped across the face by bearing witness to a mirror of my own worst actions, a reality that brings me down to their level for hugs and a chat about how we both need to try harder next time.
These days that have been condensed with more difficult moments in a short burst of time have done wonders, though. I’ve become quicker to tire of the yelling, and I find myself taking huge, gulping breaths of air because I don’t want to yell anymore. It’s exhausting. I take deep breaths and look around, six eyes watching my next move, forming in their own stress-reaction skills. It’s never as bad as my red-eyed monster thinks. I pause and look for a better solution, and if I find it, I fix things and move on. If I can’t find it – if I just can’t focus or I simply don’t know what to do, I move on to something entirely different, even if that means we load into the car and go wherever the wind takes us.