Babywearing is DIFFICULT. If I wasn’t facing a lopsided baby:arms ratio, I would have given up weeks ago.

Fortunately for me, my arms are full of babies. Unfortunately, quitting my attempts at babywearing is a luxury I just don’t have.

First, I fought with the Moby. I couldn’t get the darn thing on tight enough. Each time I tightened the parts that wrap up and over my shoulders, the part around my waist would ride up.

I still have to wiggle and squirm and give it a few tries, but I can at least comfortably get babies into the Moby without me busting a sweat and them freaking out (more than they already are).

In fact, the Moby has become a sanity saver when one of my triplets is too fussy to sleep. Once I get them in and give them a few jiggles, BAM. Sleeping baby. Just like Eleanor is in that picture.

One of my good friends recently sent me a Hotsling to try. She never liked it, and, as of right now, I can see why. I’ve stared at the thing, slipped it on, spun it around, manhandled it, YouTubed it – you name it – and I still haven’t figured out what I’m doing wrong, why I can’t see how it works.

Finally, this morning, I got brave enough to try. I feel bad that I have to put Hungry Baby down while I prepare a bottle. Having a sling to quickly secure a baby with me while having both hands free (because let’s be honest – young babies do that flailing thing and can’t be trusted to be held with one hand or even one hand and a chin/cheek/forehead) to act as bartender.

My attempt failed.

Toby was scrunched up, his chin was resting on his chest – it was just miz.

So I’ll head back to the interwebz to see what I’m doing wrong, why I can’t figure out how to wear a baby in this product that so many love and swear by.

I don’t know. Maybe babywearing is a natural talent. Maybe you have to have a knack for it kind of like how you need to be athletic to succeed in sports. I can see why so many try and give up. I cannot see why so many try and end up with 40 different babywearing accessories.

I’m determined to keep trying to work with what I have. I just don’t have the time or money to constantly buy/try different products. I have a Moby, now I have a Hotsling, and I have an Ergo for when they’re bigger (but not the infant insert. Sigh.)

It’s a good thing I’m stubborn enough to keep trying. It’s a good thing I’m soft enough to want to cuddle my trio as much as I can, even when I need to be doing other tasks.

These things really need support groups and in-home demonstrations. Someone get on making that happen, OK?

Tagged with:

31 Responses to Quitting is a luxury

  1. Susan says:

    There is a blog I used to read where she had twins and used ring slings or Mei Tai’s and could wear both easily (or at least it looked easy). I HATED my hotsling and gave it away. I thought maybe when O was older it would work better on the hip, but I was wrong. It was just never comfortable. The Bjorn was great for us and the Snugli, the Ergo is awesome and I have a Moby for #2 that is still an inside baby, so no tries yet. Good luck!

  2. BethT says:

    TOTALLY agree on the need for support groups for babywearing. I spent many, many frustrated afternoons trying the Moby, the Maya and the Ergo with infant insert…many of those attempts ended in tears. I finally decided to put all of my efforts into one product (the Ergo) because the fabric slings seemed to complicated for my tired mama brain. I also found the fabric products didn’t work as well when my superchunk baby got to be more than 10 lbs. We’ve stuck with the Ergo.

  3. Sarah says:

    Hi there. I am not much help, I only started wearing my girl when she was 1 in an ergo. Much easier when they are sturdy.
    BUT, I know Sarajoy (@sarajoy) wears her twins (together), maybe you could contact her for some tips or there is always Stephanie (@babysteph), the babywearing master. I hope it gets more comfortable for you. It really is a godsend. Loving the updates, keep it up!

  4. shawna says:

    I have the same exact problem! It drives me nuts! I’m ready to just give up on it and I don’t want to…thats such a waste of money. :( If you figure it out, please write a post on it!

    Thanks! Oh, btw, your babies are ADORABLE!

  5. TheNextMartha says:

    I don’t know. Those babies in many other countries (Africa) always seem to be on their mothers backs. Now how do they do THAT? Good luck. I never wore a baby longer than I had to so have no idea.

  6. Lisa says:

    I didn’t care for the Hotsling either – I can totally see why they went out of business (well, that and the massive pouch sling recall.) The MeiTai was the only one that was truly comfortable for me – wraps, ring slings, SSCs and of course the pouch were a fail for us.

  7. Michele says:

    Oh hon… I’m sorry. I’ve had 3 slings and loved them all. I got a meitai (well 2) when the kids were small and I could double wear them. Then, when they were about 6-7 months old, they didnt like them anymore, so we switched to 2 moby wraps, which I could also double wear. Then, about 3 months ago, when they were oh-so-heavy to wear together, I decided to get a standard, over the shoulder sling to hip wear one baby. I can either walk with the other one holding my hand or just have them on my hip without a sling. I’m sorry you are having such a rough time :( I’ve really loved my babywearing experiences and am sad that, now that the twins are 50+ pounds together, it’s just too difficult to wear them both all the time.

  8. Miranda says:

    It was my experience that if you aren’t extremely long torsoed the Hotsling and other pouch-style carriers just don’t work. The Moby was my love, but I’ve heard fantastic things about Mei Tai carriers.

    I hope you get the wearing all figured out soon.

  9. Suzanne says:

    Would you be interested in a mei-tai carrier? I have a small-ish one that worked great until my son was about 9 months old, when I upgraded to the BabyHawk version. It’s a LOT faster to get on and off than the Moby but holds the baby in the same position. I’d be happy to send it to you if you want (you can see a picture of it in my post about babywearing, it’s the orange one

    I never liked the pouch-style sling and it took me MONTHS to get the hang of the ring sling. My favorite has definitely been the Ergo but didn’t start using it consistently until Evan was well past 6 months. But as you can tell from that post, I have a SERIOUS baby carrier addiction and keep buying new ones.

  10. ashley says:

    I love babywearing…. my son was colicky and wouldn’t calm down at night unless he was in his sling. I have a pouch sling and a babyhawk…the pouch I hated when he was a baby because it didn’t feel secure, and I always had to have one hand on him. But when he got bigger ( around 9/10 months ) it became a lifesaver with the hip carry. As far as when he was newborn… I had a mei tai that my sister made ( a copy of the babyhawk ) and we loved it!! My hubby could use it, baby calmed down… and we still use it today at 17 months with the back carry.

    just keep at it… you’ll find what works for you.

  11. Jamie says:

    Love the idea of a class to show you how to wear one! Almost like they have you make sure your baby fits in the carseats before they leave the hospital? Show you how to moby them before you walk out, too!

    Pardon me while I go trademark that one.

  12. D says:

    I didn’t get my Ergo until DD was around 6 months I think. I had sort of tried a couple other carriers when she was younger but didn’t have much luck with them… it was like she knew I was cheating and wasn’t actually holding her in my arms. I’m debating on getting the Ergo insert for the baby in my belly or trying the moby wrap (which looks super intimidating to me).

  13. Gail says:

    I read another blog called Almost Fearless about a woman (and her husband) who travel the world with their baby and their dogs. They actually don’t have a permanent address, so they are always moving. Anyway, one of her recent posts had a year-in-pictures for their baby who just had his first birthday. In a bunch of the pictures, the baby is attached to their chests in various contraptions. Maybe they have some ideas on good baby-holding devices. Here is a link to the blog post. Hope it helps!

  14. Julie says:

    I would SO love to babywear with this next baby, but I am so so lost on where to even start. This post gives me hope that I am not the only semi-clueless one out there- and it seems to be working for you! I definitely think a class is a GREAT idea! :)

  15. Jeremy says:

    G-gack. This is definitely info my wife will want to have very soon (we’re expecting triplets this summer).

    Thanks. And yow.

  16. Lauren says:

    I know a chick in Greensboro who teaches people about babywearing, they even have a little meetup group, tot toters or something like that. If we have one here there has got to be one in your area.

  17. Jayme says:

    The moby has a huge learning curve, in my experience. Pouch slings were ok for me with newborns, after that, bleh. Same with ring slings. I liked my mei tai, and LOVE my ergo. My ergo is the only one I LOVE.

  18. Becky says:

    I thought the Moby was a tough one to operate too. I used it only for my 3rd and up to 3 months old (or about 14 pounds) when I gave up. A good friend of mine is a baby wearer and she had tried everything. I decided to buy a Beco (over an Ergo). It has an infant insert. With my 3, I didn’t have the luxury of having a stroller for just the infant so the Beco is all I use. It’s very comfy and super easy. And now at 9 months, it’s still my go-to. You can also switch it from front to back carrier. :) Good luck.

  19. Liz says:

    If you post on the bump at all, there’s a board on attachment parenting and they talk a lot about babywearing. There’s a woman on there a lot, I think her sn is ncbelle, and she’s the babywearing GURU. I’d check it out! A lot of the women on that board are into woven wraps and ring slings and it’s just a plethora of information. Good luck and your babies are beautiful! :-)

  20. Liz says:

    Hi Jen,

    Been reading since before the babies were born! I’m amazed at how you are handling all this. I thought twins were hard!
    I have a Baby Bjorn that you are more than welcome to have it would be of any use. Our little girls have grown out of it.
    Let me know~ and good luck!

  21. stardustdawn says:

    We actually do have a sling support group in my area. There is even a lending library so moms can find a sling that works for them before they buy. The group here has a yahoo group, so maybe you can see if there is one on yahoo close to you?

    Not all slings work for all people- but hopefully with trial and error you can find one. With triplets, I imagine having your hands free would be an awesome thing!

  22. Laura W. says:

    I could never really get the hang of the Moby, either, and it bothered my c-section incision, so my husband was usually the one to put it on and jiggle the baby to sleep. It worked like a charm. I have to admit, I love our Ergo (I didn’t get it until he was 9 months old, so I don’t know how great it is when they’re still teeny), and so does my son. He’s 18 months old now and still rides in it comfortably. He loves it when I put him on my back and wear him around the house.
    Hope you find something that works for you!

  23. Kristin says:

    Hi! Longtime reader, first post! I am a dedicated babywearer and I learned a lot from the local Triangle Babywearers group. You’re in Charlotte, right? I don’t know if there’s a group there, but ours meets every month in Cary. And you could definitely post on the Triangle Babywearers Facebook page and ask for help! Ncbelle/Meredith, who was mentioned above (from The Nest Attachment Parenting board), is a member of our group and super-nice, although I don’t think she’s a big user of pouch slings. There are definitely a few other group members who have used Hotslings.

    Keep trying! I found that slings had a big learning curve, but I LOVED mine once I figured it out. (I used a ring sling, though, not a pouch.) It was the only carrier I was able to use to breastfeed a baby hands-free. I actually could walk through the grocery store with my son nursing, covered by the sling’s tail, and no one was the wiser :)

  24. Cole says:

    Ohmigosh, we LOVE babywearing – I’m so sorry you’re have a rough time. I *would* say the cradle position in a pouch carrier is really difficulty to get right – you may have an easier time with tummy to tummy. Also, it may be that your Hotsling is not the correct size for you. Also, you can use a rolled up receiving blanket in your Ergo instead of an infant insert. 😉

    I had a “Sling Fling” week on my blog this week – there are a ton of great posts on there with babywearing resources if you’re interested.

    Finally, Mommy agree that their needs to be support for babywearing hopefuls – most of us don’t live near a store that carries anything beyond the Moby… so she’s starting her own babywearing consultation/carrier rental business! Too bad you don’t live closer, she’d totally come help!

  25. Norah says:

    I agree that needing hands free is necessary and I only have one! I think its great that you have the Moby under control- I am jealous :) Wraps just boggle my mind. I love my sling and I just think that whatever way she ends up in there is the right way. As long as she can breath and her face is clear, and she isn’t crying- then I consider it a success. I also have an ergo with an infant insert and I hate it… people swear by them so I am kinda in the same boat as you- googling to figure out what I am doing wrong!

    Good luck to you.

  26. Amber says:

    I love my ergo! You can get good deals on the infant insert on craigslist sometimes, and I highly recommend it. My baby would fall asleep quickly in the ergo and I love that you don’t have to tie it on. :o)

    P.S. Your babies are adorable and so are you! :)

  27. Therese says:

    Hey, there! I didn’t get my Ergo until my daughter was older and I love how user friendly it is. Now that I am pregnant with my 2nd, I have been looking online for an infant insert. Suprisingly, most of the reviews weren’t that great. Either the baby would get too hot or the baby couldn’t get comfortable. Also, the inserts weren’t used for very long since the baby would grow quickly. Most of the reviews recommended using a light weight blanket in place of the insert. Just a thought…

  28. Sarah-Anne says:

    no “advice” really, but i will tell you this: from reading babywearing blogs, you need to find the right one for you. :) and…that’s my two cents.

  29. Beth @ Me as a Mommy says:

    Totally get your frustration with the hotsling. I never ever was able to get it with M until he was big enough to sit on my hip in it. And even then we liked it for like a month before I was sick of the thing. But wit TNB it is my favorite!!! You need the right babywearing gear for you AND baby so just because it might not work with one baby, don’t give up!!

    Also? Check boards. I found a local meetup group and they taught me everything I know! Hugely helpful and the leaders bring all kinds of different carriers and wraps so it will give you a chance to figure out what you like!

  30. Kristin says:

    I have found that babywearing gets MUCH easier the older they get.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Set your Twitter account name in your settings to use the TwitterBar Section.